Why did I eat that?

So I woke up this morning and just felt like I was going to have a good day today:

ME vs. THE FOOD.....and I was going to win.

Since I work in a restaurant as a server, it's always hard to choose the best things to eat. I had a nice early breakfast at work to get my metabolism going: two slices of wheat toast, 1 tablespoon of butter, 1 cup of coffee (only two creamers). For a snack I had some dry crunchy oats cereal and about 64 ounces of water by 11am. I had another snack around noon (a cup of veggies from the minestrone soup...no broth just the veggies). About 1:30pm I was ready for lunch; and I had a salad with chopped turkey and bacon with a pita on the side (made my own wrap), with a 3 oz souffle cup of plain vinegar and one with greek dressing.

I was feeling fantastic when I came home after have a great morning of healthy food and lots of water. I felt so good, I decided to take a 3.45 mile run. When I came home I decided to replenish my body with a small snack of peanut butter and jelly on my fiber crackers.

After that I had an event to go to, and told myself in advance I was going to allow myself

1 drink....mission accomplished!

Well the day and evening were going great for me...and then.... "Denny's" happened.

But I thought "hey they have some awesome healthy things on their menu now", and I prepared myself to eating healthy when I got to the restaurant, I mean I mentally prepared for it.

SO, explain to me, how in the world I let myself order a 1/2 order of sweet and tangy bbq wings??! I don't know what I was thinking...WHY DID I EAT THAT? It's like it was calling to me off the page of menu "you had a great today...eat me....you can work out extra tomorrow....who cares if it's late....you deserve this...".

It was the devil in disguise.

So I had 3 wings out of the 5 that were fantastically drenched in tangy barbeque sauce....then had some granola with 2% milk...2 egg whites...1 chicken sausage patty...and two bites of my wheat pancakes....it's amazing how good I ate AFTER I had the bad things....

Now I am full to the brim, it's midnight, and I am laying in bed writing this blog.

The guilt I feel right now is immense, and I seem to feel guilt after EVERYTHING I eat lately, not just the unhealthy stuff, but every time I feel "full", and I have no idea why.

But again, WHY DID I EAT THAT? What made me make that decision? I had gone in with a plan but yet totally went off of it, fully knowing how bad I would feel afterwards. It makes absolutely no sense to me....and probably never will.

So I guess it's back to the drawing board tomorrow, and maybe an even more extensive workout. Because this guilt I feel now will last into tomorrow and will not leave my brain...and ALL could have been avoided with one simple choice....to NOT order it. But it's a choice I am going to have to live with.